In 2011 I said those exact words. I was so tired of trying so hard and always feeling like I would never measure up to God. Even though I was a Christian, I viewed God as my judge who was continually sorry that He made me. That led me to walking away from Him for a year before He rescued me and changed my heart. Now, 13 years removed from those events I still encounter people who say they are Christian yet all they ever think about is how terrible they are. Visiting different churches these days, I find the messages preached are often focused on our brokenness and how our loving Father meets us there. That, of course, is true that God cares for us and does not orphan us because of our failures.
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
—Romans 8:38–39 NKJV
Maybe the issue is not so much with the message but the filter we are hearing it through. For years, I interpreted my sin and failures through the lens of a bondservant rather than a son. I never could understand why sin seemed to reign in my mortal body even though we are clearly told it should not. I allowed myself to be identified more by the very sin that Christ set me free from rather than the One who bore that same sin and made me justified in Him.
“Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.”
—Romans 6:12 NKJV
I can barely identify with that old self that was so condemning. Sometimes I wonder how I had descended into such a deep, dark hole and never realized how messed up my thinking really was. Going back I can identify certain beliefs I had that contributed to the lie. They were:
Any of this sound familiar? Maybe your list is longer. If you look at your list what theme screams out at you? My list was telling me that either God didn’t exist or I would never be good enough for Him. I can tell you that neither of those things is true. God does exist and He is not mad at you son or daughter!
When God rescued me in 2012, suddenly all I cared about was wanting to know Him. Every day of my life was focused on that specific purpose...to know God! I wasn’t thinking about sin management, what my failures meant, or fighting a campaign of holiness. I wasn’t even trying to fix all my broken relationships. I just wanted to know God. That pursuit has entirely changed my life as it is still the one thing I desire most.
“When You said, “Seek My face,” My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.”” —Psalm 27:8 NKJV
Here are the truths that have replaced the lies:
I am the righteousness of God in Christ. The only thing good in me is Jesus.
I am filled with the Holy Spirit. There is nothing I cannot do.
Knowing God has proven greater than any sin I’ve ever committed, or any sin I still commit.
Living for God means loving God and loving others. I see people God loves now, not adversaries.
My life is based on the truth. Sin no longer defines me, the Spirit of God does.
Sounds great, right? Wish you could say the same? Well, you can.
The first step is recognizing the finished work of Jesus cannot be improved on. If you have confessed with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe God raised Him from the dead, you are saved according to Romans 10:9. You are made complete in Him. Make it your life passion to know God!
Stop trying to be good! Jesus Himself is working in you to will and to do for His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:13) Your love for God comes from Him and He is the transformer of hearts, not you.
Be filled with the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 5:18 says that we are to be filled with the Holy Spirit. As we are filled with and equipped by the Holy Spirit, we are not only able to overcome every temptation but also live powerfully on the mission.
Which leads me to my final suggestion. Get on the mission! If you want to see your life fast-tracked in the knowledge and power of Christ, take a walk and pray that God would show you what He is doing. You will start praying for people, people will get saved, and you will see the demonstration of God’s power unlike you probably have ever experienced in church. Seriously, take a walk and pray.
Your life will become more fruitful, more abundant, and more joyful than you ever imagined as you discover how wide and long and deep and high is the love of God...for you AND for others!!! Now, LIVE!!!
Need to chat?
I am making my calendar available a few hours a week to chat if you need guidance, prayer, or a listening ear.
Really good Shawn. I can identify with this post all to well. I’m not where you, by far, still feel like an outsider looking in sometimes.
Amazing, thanks for sharing the truth, I pray that this article would bless thousands!